Last Thursday as I pulled into my driveway after a long day of running errands in this crazy heat, I noticed a white bird by my mailbox. It sort of caught me off guard because honestly, I had never seen a bird like this one up close. I pulled down the driveway and went on about the rest of my day, but in the back of my mind the Lord whispered.....notice Me. On Friday when I pulled into the driveway, the poor Amazon Prime gal was dropping off a package (I'm sure in the back of her mind she's wondering why the crazy lady that lives here doesn't just go ahead and order all the things at once....it sure would save her a few trips). When I went to grab it at the front door, you wouldn’t believe what was there.....the white bird. I ran and grabbed my phone.
I knew at this point the Lord was trying to get my attention. You see, a week earlier I had asked the Lord, during my prayer time, for a sign from Him. A sign that all of these promises I had been writing about and reading and the things He had put on my heart as His promises for all we were walking through as a family were truly from Him and that He was going to follow through on them. I immediately apologized to Him after asking for a sign....feeling shame that I’d need another sign after He had been so faithful up to this point in my life. But Friday, He got my attention. He said, Shannon, slow down, rest your thoughts on My promises, this bird is for you. This is your sign. So I ran and got a shower and the Lord reminded me of Noah and the Ark and His faithful promise to him. He reminded me of the rainbow He sent as a sign of His covenant and then I about fell to my knees as I remembered that the Lord also sent a white dove carrying an olive branch to show Noah that the Lord has fulfilled His promise to His family....it was safe to exit the ark.
When Kayleigh got home I showed her the bird. We wanted to make sure it was ok and not hurt, knowing it was very unusual for a bird, especially one this size, to just be hanging around. She was able to get it to fly so we were thankful it wasn’t hurt. It flew away that Friday afternoon and so the Lord just gave me a sweet peace that He had answered my prayer as He so faithfully does.
Sunday evening as Paul got home from preaching in Cincinnati, he noticed our bird was back in the driveway.
At this point I was just elated and truly had my ears in tune to what all the Lord was wanting to continue to show me. As I shared about the bird with a precious friend she mentioned to me how sweet the Father was to teach me so many things through this. She showed me how the Father wants to continue to give gifts as well as answer the prayers of His children over and over again, just like we as parents want to do more and more for our own children. She also showed me that He allowed the bird to come and dwell around my home for a few days, just to remind me of His presence with me.
Tuesday came and Paul noticed something wasn’t right with the bird. Knowing it would break my heart and knowing what all we had on our plate that day, he waited until the end of that day to tell me. As Paul left, the bird just laid it’s head down....Paul knew at this point he was dying.
Little did we know what we would walk through on Tuesday. We had meetings going on all day so being by our phones wasn’t an option. I noticed I had missed several calls from one of our former youth who is a close friend of our family. When I checked in with Morgan, through tears she shared with us that Charles Elder, one of our former youth students, was missing. She asked us to be praying. I immediately called Paul and we took it to the staff and asked for prayers. Our hearts and minds were just in knots. After about 30 minutes Morgan called to let us know they had found Charles truck but it was abandoned and to continue to pray. An hour had passed and my phone rang. Although we were still covered up in meetings, I was glued to my phone at this point. Morgan shared that they had found Charles’s body and that he was gone. We just couldn’t believe it. Why Lord? He’s only 32 years old. He has a wife and two precious children he just dropped off at daycare. He just got off the phone with his wife telling her how precious the kids were when he was leaving from drop off, how they just hugged and kissed him and told him how much they loved him. What happened?? Why did he just abruptly hang up the phone with her and never answer another call again?? Father, we don’t understand.
As Paul shared with me that evening that the bird had passed away my heart just broke. Why Charles, Father? And now....why this bird?? What are you trying to show me??
I asked Paul to please go lay the bird somewhere safe in the field. As he did I just went into the other room, I needed to cry. As I sat down, I noticed a verse I had framed that was the main verse we had been focusing on as we wrote out His promises. This verse has been wrecking me for the past several months.
“He will cover you with His feathers. He will shelter you with His wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.” Psalms 91:4 NLT
I woke up Wednesday morning still trying to make sense of it all. Paul had received a text from Randy, Charles’s father.....”Thanks for praying, we’re all just broken over this.”
The Father stopped me right then and there. “Shannon, just as Randy is broken over his child and hurting, I want you to see that My heart breaks for My children as well. I’m here. I see your pain. I hear the cries of your heart. You can trust Me. I’m working all things together for your good, for Paul’s good, for your children, My church, the women you lead.”
I’m sure there will be many more lessons as the days go by. The Lord will continue to show me about this precious bird. Just as we didn’t know this bird was hurting and going to die soon, Charles family didn’t know he was hurting and in pain and going to die soon as well. There are so many around us walking through deep hurts; who don’t know how to process them, let alone let anyone on the inside to be raw and honest. Oh Jesus, heal our hearts. Heal our pain. Thank You for Your faithful promises. Thank You that they are our armor and protection in this world we are living. Give us eyes to see and ears to hear and hearts full of wisdom to be Your hands and feet.
I find myself often humming the tune of a song my brother used to sing in church. After all that has been going on, I texted him and asked him to stop what he was doing and record himself singing this song for me. I told him, I can’t explain everything right now, I just really need to hear it and I need it to be you singing it for me. My heart needs this today. He was like, “My piano is so out of tune.” I told him to just belt it acapella, I just needed to hear it. As a great big brother can only do, I had this in my inbox an hour later.
His Eye is on the Sparrow
Why should I feel discouraged?
Why should the shadows come?
And why should my heart be lonely
And long for Heaven and home?
When Jesus is my portion
My constant friend is He
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me
And I sing because I'm happy
I sing because I'm free
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me
Let not your heart be troubled
His tender word I hear
And resting on His goodness
I lose my doubts and fears
Though by the path He leadeth
But one step I may see
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me
I sing because I'm happy
I sing because I am free
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me
Oh-oh.. His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me
He watches me

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